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Talk:Valeri Bure

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Battle of the Blades

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Bure's partner in BotB is Ekaterina Gordeeva - as BotB advertising says: "the Russians are coming". [1] ````24.77.84.145 (talk) 05:12, 27 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Birth place

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The Bure brothers were born in Minsk(Belarus). — Preceding unsigned comment added by 46.98.157.59 (talk) 19:31, 2 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

GA Review

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Reviewing
This review is transcluded from Talk:Valeri Bure/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Shudde (talk · contribs) 04:43, 15 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]


Hey. I've decided to review this article. I will hopefully start the review shortly, but before I do this is how I normally go about it: I'll usually read through the article starting immediately after the lead, and make comments as I go. These comments do not necessarily relate directly to the Good article criteria, but should in most cases. I believe that if I'm going to review an article, I may as well give any feedback I can, regardless of whether it relates to meeting the GA criteria. I read the lead last. Once I've finished reading through, I normally check the references and images (although sometimes I check these as I go). It's here I'll normally spotcheck the references (to see that they verify the relevant statement) and also checking to close-paraphrasing. If I find any problems with close paraphrasing I'll fail the article immediately – I'm not comfortable passing an article if there is a chance it contains a copyright violation. I see this as a collaborative process, so if you have any questions feel free to ask, and I'll make sure that I check back regularly. – Shudde talk 04:43, 15 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Early life
  • "Nobility also ran in Bure's history" -- not sure about this statement. How about "Bure's family had a noble history" ?
  • "However both ultimately became estranged from their father, along with his second wife and their half-sister Katya, by 1998. Neither brother explained a reason for the split." -- A couple of minor suggestions here. How about "However both ultimately became estranged from their father, along with his second wife and their half-sister Katya, by 1998. Neither brother [has] explained a reason for the split." (saying "ultimately ... by" sounds strange)
Junior
  • "instituted an import draft." -- I'm not sure what this is? An explanation, note or wiki-link would be useful.
    • Hmm. The CHL exists primarily to develop North American players, but allows a limited number of European players per team. They are assigned via a draft. I will have to think on the best way to respond to this. Maybe a new article if I can find a couple solid sources. Resolute 23:18, 15 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Maybe worth linking to Point (ice hockey) in the first instance
  • "He was named to the" --> "He was named in the"
  • "returned to junior" -- is this acceptable English?
    • Commonplace, but a little too informal here. Modified to "returned to his junior team." Resolute
  • "He struggled with injuries that season as he suffered two concussions as well as a kidney injury." -- did he play fewer games in 96-97 than 95-96; if so is this worth mentioning?
  • "At five feet, ten inches tall, Bure was a smaller player in the NHL." -- include a metric conversion here, especially as this is a bio of a Russian-born person
  • "as well as increased opportunity to play with a young Flames team" -- this is not clear. Before the trade he had no opportunity to play with the Flames, so how about "as well as the opportunity to play in a young Flames team"
    • Modified to "as well as increased opportunity by joining a young Flames team", which I think carries the meaning I intended - that he would get more playing time with a younger Flames team than he would have in Montreal. Does that work for you? Resolute 00:04, 16 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Calgary Flames
  • "Bure's offensive ability emerged in Calgary as he became one of the team's leading scorers." -- is emerged the best choice of words here?
    • I can't really think of anything better. The point I am trying to convey (which ties to the comments from the Montreal section about expectations) is that he was anticipated to be a good offensive player, but didn't really find himself until he came to Calgary. Resolute 00:04, 16 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
      • Yeah I figured that you meant something such as that. I'm not sure the best way to word this, but you may want to try something to try and make it clearer what you're trying to convey. At the moment it's possibly a little vague. -- Shudde talk 02:12, 16 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The departure of Flames' star Theoren Fleury provided additional opportunity for Bure" -- how so?
Florida, St. Louis and Dallas
  • "He did not sign until late September, a delay which resulted in his being a brief hold-out from Florida's training camp in advance of the 2001–02 season." -- was there a reason for this?
  • "His brother had already been traded by that point, and the Panthers were also making him available in potential deals" -- the second "him" is slightly ambiguous
  • "He was also hampered by a hairline fracture to his wrist after Keith Primeau slashed him during an early December game against the Philadelphia Flyers." -- slash is jargon -- could a more accessible term be substituted?
  • "He opted to retire following the surgeries." -- it may be good here to say his age (I know a reader could work it out, but still).
International
  • "Bure made his first of two appearances at the Olympic Games in 1998" -- this could be read to mean the first of two games at the 1998 Olympics, maybe "Bure made played in his first of two Olympic Games in 1998"
Lead
  • No problems here, summarises the article well.
Other
  • Are there references for the statistics compiled later in the article?
    • Yes. I put a "Career Statistics" reference at the top of the References section for the stats tables. (Personal preference - I dislike floating reference superscripts) Resolute 23:18, 15 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Image
Reference spotchecks
Done

Well very little to comment on. Interesting subject (one I'm completely unfamiliar with), definitely reads like injuries blighted his later career. Good job again. Only a few minor things to address then will be happy to pass. Good work as always. -- Shudde talk 05:56, 15 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I appreciate the review! I should have some time this evening to work on the article and address your concerns. Cheers! Resolute 13:03, 15 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Ok, I should have nearly everything, still looking for a decent way to explain the CHL import draft. Resolute 00:04, 16 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Well, durr. I only just now thought to check if CHL Import Draft exists. It's a redirect to Canadian Hockey League#CHL Import Draft, which should at least give you the basics. Resolute 00:08, 16 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Great. I've left a couple of comments above that you may want to look at, but happy with all your changes. Good work. -- Shudde talk 02:12, 16 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Russian - American

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Just wondering if that shouldn't be only as Russian. He was born in the USSR and he always represented Russia on the international stage. His career started when he was a Russian citizen. He did not get US citizenship until 2001. 13Sundin (talk) 18:37, 15 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

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